Clueless in the UK

When we last left you, we were hoping for the chance to beg Mr. Darcy for forgiveness for trying to negotiate with him. As the days went by I became more and more convinced that we had lost the place, and I started looking into other options.

Because we had nothing to lose, Sue called the letting agent to find out what was going on with that property. We found out that the property had been under contract with a family in the USA but that the deal had just fallen through because that family was no longer relocating to the UK.

“Things that make you go ‘Hmmmmm’”.

So I composed the following letter to Mr D’Arcy:

Dear Mr. D’Arcy,

I am sorry that we have not heard from you since my last email. I can only assume that you did not like my offer, although I would have expected that you would reply to that effect rather than just ignore my message.

I am currently operating under the assumption that you don’t want to rent your apartment to me and my family and that you have found somebody else. If that is not the case, please feel free to contact me at this email address or phone me.

JP

Is it just me or does that sound like a letter out of Pride and Prejudice? All I need to do is introduce phrases like “tricks and strategems” and “such avarice!” into my dialog and I’m there baby!

Of course I already knew that his deal had just fallen through, so I was feeling rather clever when I wrote it. But to be honest I was pretty sure I was never going to hear from him again. However, the next morning I was greeted with the following response from Mr D’Arcy:

Dear Mr. Payne

I was away on business at the latter half of last week and unable to reply until now.

…

I don’t think so!

Anyway, this past week I have been up in the middle of the night, several times, trying to communicate with people in London. Jens and Neguine told me about some very important issues surrounding paying taxes in the UK, and I have hooked up with Price Waterhouse Coopers. I still don’t understand all the issues but it basically has to do with keeping three kinds of funds - capital, income, gains - separate at all times, so separate that if the funds actually look at each other while crossing paths in the bank’s network, you’re screwed. So all I need to do to accomplish this is create five bank accounts, apparently.

Anyway, while I was up one of these nights I sent mail to Mr. Darcy and he phoned me right back! I was very polite as I explained that it was 3am. He was very apologetic. But the best part about it was, He was actually a normal person. He sounded like a regular landlord and we had a nice chat and I told him it was good to hear his voice because now I was no longer afraid of him.

Since it’s clear pictures are worth a thousand words for most people (or just 100 of my words), here are some more pictures of our new place to be.

Starting with the first floor, we have the kitchen as seen from the dining room/living room. You’ve seen this picture already.

Here is the kitchen from the other end, by the door. You can see the dining room and patio off in the distance. Check out the stove. 6 burner gas stove with fancy vent, which makes our stove in California look like what it is - a joke:

Somewhere in the above two pictures are hidden a washer and separate drier. That’s even more amazing than the large fridge! But … I cannot find them in these pictures.

OK, moving on, this next shot is of the reception room on the first floor, looking across at the dining room table over the back side of the couch. You can see the patio a little better from this angle:

Now moving to the second floor, this would be your guest room if you come for a visit. Your bed, should you chose to stay with us, is more likely going to be an air mattress, so don’t get too excited. In fact, you might want to bring an air mattress with you… It comes with its own ensuite bathroom:

This room is a family room, also on the second floor. It has a gas fireplace, which is nice and clean burning but otherwise one of the most stupid ways ever to heat a house:

This is the other side of the family room, where we’ll make a small office and perhaps add a piano, which is how we have it set up in our current house. Too bad my drums won’t be making the trip across the pond:

Finally, here is the master bedroom on the third floor:

Sadly I have no pictures of the two kids bedrooms also on the third floor, but they couldn’t be more perfect: two equally sized children bedrooms with their own shared bathroom at the top of the stairs.

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 17th, 2006 at 10:00 am and is filed under Clueless in the UK. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.